How does it feel to be used? To be used by someone you love and you really trust. Well, that was the question I had on my mind when I’m only a twelve - year - old girl. At that time, all that I knew about love is that love is blind because that was I usually hear. Yes, I had crushes but love? I don’t have time for that until I met him. After I met him, the meaning of love for me changed and it became, “Love looks like a nice thing, but it’s actually very rough when you experience it.”
My crush is also my classmate. Just name him, King. King became close to me because we became partners in one of our projects. He’s cute, handsome, kind, generous, and a funny guy. I am always happy whenever I’m with him. I am somewhat a straightforward person. I always want to be open with the people around me especially when it comes to my feelings. So, I am the one who confessed my feelings first to King. King told me that he felt the same way. Then, our friends said that we have that so called “More that friends but less than lovers” relationship. We enjoyed each other’s company. We always hang out with our friends but we only treat ourselves as if we’re only best friends when we’re together.
But one day, King just ignored my texts and calls and even personally. Actually, that day was our last day of classes as first years. He told me that he didn't want to talk to me. So I decided to stay away from him without knowing the reason. I spent my vacation having fun with my family and friends so that I will not be able to think of him that much. My friends helped me to move on that vacation. We were classmates again the next year. In that year, I really tried my best to regain our long lost friendship and I am so thankful to God because I regained it. He became my friend again. We always talk to each other again but we’re not that close just like before because there’s an uncouth atmosphere whenever our eyes meet. I admit to myself that I still have feelings for him that time. Another year passed, and unfortunately, he’s not my classmate anymore. On that time, I still kept on thinking about the untold reason of King.
King has this close friend. Just call him Anne. Anne already knew about the untold reason since we’re second years. Fortunately, Anne is my classmate again and also a close friend of mine. So, I always say to her what I feel so one day, Anne already told me the reason. She said that she is not in the position to tell me that but she already told me to lessen my sadness. The reason is King only took advantage of my feelings, but King also learned to love me anyhow but the bottom-line there is he used me. From the time I knew it, my world seemed to crash. I can’t believe that King did that to me and he only pretended almost all the time. But somehow, I thank him because he already stopped it early. King said sorry to me and I forgave him.
I am very thankful to God that He let me met King. I became a stronger and a careful person because of him. Sometimes, being a straightforward person is not that good. I should learn how to forgive and forget. I should be honest to all of the people around me. Never get attached to anyone that much because attachments lead to expectations and expectations lead to disappointments. Now, I value friendship more rather than love. We need to take one step at a time and there's no need to rush. It's like learning to fly or falling in love, it's going to happen and it's supposed to happen. And lastly, sometimes, people choose to leave not because of their selfish reasons. But they just know that things will only get worse if they stay. I already moved on, finally. My only wish now is to regain our friendship again even I already knew the truth behind lies.
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